Emotions.. when to let them show and when to keep them in check

I had  to deliver an eulogy this summer for my beloved grandmother. Her death wasn't a surprise to us - she had been bedridden for the better part of this year from battling cancer. But it was still upsetting as I had a very special relationship with her and would visit her a few days a week, at least. So when iIwas asked to write and deliver the eulogy I had to think of ways to make it interesting and not too sad.

After all, it was a celebration of her life and not really a "funeral". I'm talking about this because of the article I read in PR Daily today called "3 tips for handling emotion during speech or interview". The article deals with emotion in speeches from a PR perspective. It talks about when emotion is appropriate (a few tears when discussing a  tragic experience as a burn victim) and when its not appropriate (as a speaker in the senate.)

It is appropriate to shed a few tears when giving a eulogy. But I felt like the message I was trying to get across was that she had a great life and I acknowledged the things that she enjoyed the most. As much as I missed her I didn't want to go up there and cry and cry. So I first wrote the eulogy and then I practiced, practiced, practiced. The first couple times I did cry and cry but then it got easier. On the day I was to deliver the eulogy I didn't cry- I only let my voice waver at one point. To keep from crying I smiled. It's a common fact that  if you feel like crying all you do is smile and the tears should stay away. I'm happy I did this as I felt my eulogy was more effective without tons of tears.

Photo courtesy of http://stephanieannsolis.blogspot.com/2010_12_18_archive.html

On the other hand, as this article says, sometimes tears help emphasize a point. Like a person that was domestically abused or recalling other accounts of horror in their life. Sometimes these are appropriate to stir up emotions in the audience. As long as the speaker can still get their messages across.
This article looks at editing your emotions when giving a speech. The flicker of a smile versus a tear, they all help communicate the meaning of the speech on a deeper level.